The Dream is the Relationship
“The dream is the relationship”, William the Psychic said almost a decade ago in the US. My dreams of going to America had come true and I had a sense of magic. What if I dreamed up something else, could I have that too? I wanted to find my long last love. And for years I chased men, on different continents, in different countries and different cities. But, I thougth at some point, what if ‘my Leonardo’ (a joke you only understand if you have known me for a long time, have read this blog throughout the years, or scroll down to the bottom, but that will take days probably, so I will explain to you why in this piece) is not just one guy forever, but a compilation of all the men that ever touched my heart? What if ‘Leonardo’ is a Mosaic man? Just like the actor, who plays all these different roles in all these different movies.
“Find your own Leonardo”
When my college sweetheart and I broke up after eight years, a friend of mine told me, “now it’s time for you to find your own Leonardo”. And at the time I thougth she was right. My relationship was over, so was my rebound after that, and I had to ‘find’ myself a ‘new man’. Easier said than done. I went on dating apps, had one night stands, friends with benefits, was alone for a long time. Tried to start something serious now and then, but it never worked out… Not really, not like in the movies, at least. No happily ever after for me…
And then it dawned on me the other day. Of all the men that touched my heart, I just turned 44 this week, there must be about a douzen to fifteen that really touched my heart. I remember them, we made memories together, some I am still in contact with, others have left the stage. Maybe forever, maybe not. But hey, people come and go in life, so do men. Especially if you are a Globetrotter, whom has lived many different lives already, like me. But, you always remember your first ‘love’ right? And ‘love’ comes in many different shapes and forms. So, here’s the story.
Mosaic Man
When I think of my ‘Mosaic Man’, there is actually one on top of the list. Or rather, the first one. But I never met him in real life. It is, of course, Leonardo DiCaprio. Here’s the thing though, everyone always talks about Titanic, the Blockbuster movie that made Leonardo a world class actor. About Rose and her Jack on board of the unsinkable ship on its first voyage across the Atlantic. Jack died that night in freezing cold water. But, Leonardo went on to be this super star Hollywood actor. And I just continued to live my life the way I did.
Before Titanic though, there was this less famous movie called ‘Romeo + Juliet’, the modern day version of that well known Shakespeare play. Leonardo starred in that movie too and off course I fell immediately in love with him, together with probably a couple of million other girls all over the world. I must have been fifteen. Never even had a boyfriend, don’t even think I had my first kiss yet. I was a little late with everything when it comes to love. But love comes in all shapes and forms I have learned since puberty. And even though it was a celeberty crush, you will never forget your first ‘love’.
The Surf of Life
So, the final chapter of ‘The Surf of Life’ was always supposed to be ‘Finding Leonardo’. But since I am not married, and I never even met ‘the real Leonardo’, this is where I am today; I am ‘involved’ with someone and as usual it is ‘complicated’. And every time I hear Celine Dion sing ‘My heart will go on’ somewhere on the radio, it makes me smile and think of what my friend said over a decade ago: “it is time to find your own Leonardo”. (Plus it makes me think of Mr. DiCaprio of course).
But anyways, what I do want to share with you as a reader of this piece, if you have gotten this far, I will stop ‘looking’ for my Leonardo from this day on. I will stop ‘chasing’ men. A coach once told me: “Let people come to you”. And that is exactly what I will do. The first guy that ever actually broke my heart, by breaking up with me said: “You are too sweet, and you are trying too hard”. And he was probably right. There is no point in making someone like you. Chasing ‘your Leonardo’ is fun, but that is not how you ‘find’ him. See, that’s the thing: ‘He finds you’.
And maybe there is a girl, or woman out there today, or some day in the future, who reads this article and is like: “Wow, is that how it works?” And who knows, maybe it might help her to ‘find her Leonardo’, but at least she will know that he will have to ‘think’ he ‘found’ her first. Because, I have learned that is how one surfs the waves of life: when we go with the flow, we are surfing life’s waves.
Please don’t forget to ‘like’, if you may, or leave a comment. Super curious about my reader’s experience’s too!
The Surf of Life 