I am navigating the waters of life, like the captain aboard a big vessel. Constantly reviewing my crew. It organically changes all the time; in every harbor new members come aboard, during every storm the weakest link goes overboard. But with a big crew, you need to pay attention. Assess techniques, skills and talents, set out strategies and course.
A small rip in the sail or crack in the system, can lead to a sinking ship in the long haul. Faster, harder, stronger is not the solution when you are building an ocean worthy ship. Life is not a race, endurance is key.
It is my purpose to build a ship that sails the oceans of life long after I have passed on. I have gained the knowledge and experience to build a ship that one day might even be able to set an example for an entire fleet. Schooling at the highest level, trained at the biggest oil tankers in the world, given the time to recover crash after crash after crash after crash.
But, now that I have become the captain of my own ship, it is time to carefully recruit, train and mold the crew into one whole. A trip this big, across many oceans, with an unknown destination and end date, needs preparation and training, to perfect its modus operandi.
And by carefully documenting the course I have sailed through the years, I will leave a blueprint for the next generation of sailors. There’s the blog, the website, the Instagram page, the LinkedIn page, the YouTube channel and the Brainz Magazine articles, you can read all about it. The Surf of Life is an authority building ecosystem of platforms that will keep growing over the years as it sails the oceans of life.
To everyone who is too old or too young to know these movies, never had the chance to spend time in the US in a way to truly understand the game of football or its role in many communities, schools and cities, I encourage you to watch these speeches. I will not tell you what I have gotten out of them, because to everyone these life lessons will have a different meaning, according to age or where you grew up. But I just want to share these speeches, and who knows, maybe one day you will understand.
So, I have mentioned the Theory of The Surf of Life on my platforms and articles, with it’s various phases of surfing life’s waves:
Surfing • Wipe Out • Liminal Phase • Build Up
When I look at my own life over the pasts fifteen years though, I have become really good in the ‘Build Up’ phase: I’ve moved around, found one house after the other, made new friends in different cities, got hired for more jobs I can even name right now and keep meeting these interesting men.
However. At some point I keep ‘Wiping Out’, so I never really get that level of actually ‘Surfing’ life for an extended period of time. Something extreme always happens, and I have to rebuild my life from almost scratch. So, I took a closer look to the life events that happened over the years and I saw a pattern: I keep skipping the ‘Liminal Phase’, of rest, calm, quite and a time to heal and reflect.
What happens is: I am almost ‘Surfing’, ‘Wipe Out’ and go straight into the ‘Build Up’ phase, wanting to go for that next wave. But it is essential, that ‘Liminal Phase’, to gain strength for not just the ‘Build Up’ to the next set of waves, but also to stay on your board while riding that next big wave of life.
👉🏻 Is there a phase in this cycle of Surfing Life’s Waves that you have already mastered and what phase could use a little more practice?
“The dream is the relationship”, William the Psychic said almost a decade ago in the US. My dreams of going to America had come true and I had a sense of magic. What if I dreamed up something else, could I have that too? I wanted to find my long last love. And for years I chased men, on different continents, in different countries and different cities. But, I thougth at some point, what if ‘my Leonardo’ (a joke you only understand if you have known me for a long time, have read this blog throughout the years, or scroll down to the bottom, but that will take days probably, so I will explain to you why in this piece) is not just one guy forever, but a compilation of all the men that ever touched my heart? What if ‘Leonardo’ is a Mosaic man? Just like the actor, who plays all these different roles in all these different movies.
“Find your own Leonardo”
When my college sweetheart and I broke up after eight years, a friend of mine told me, “now it’s time for you to find your own Leonardo”. And at the time I thougth she was right. My relationship was over, so was my rebound after that, and I had to ‘find’ myself a ‘new man’. Easier said than done. I went on dating apps, had one night stands, friends with benefits, was alone for a long time. Tried to start something serious now and then, but it never worked out… Not really, not like in the movies, at least. No happily ever after for me…
And then it dawned on me the other day. Of all the men that touched my heart, I just turned 44 this week, there must be about a douzen to fifteen that really touched my heart. I remember them, we made memories together, some I am still in contact with, others have left the stage. Maybe forever, maybe not. But hey, people come and go in life, so do men. Especially if you are a Globetrotter, whom has lived many different lives already, like me. But, you always remember your first ‘love’ right? And ‘love’ comes in many different shapes and forms. So, here’s the story.
Mosaic Man
When I think of my ‘Mosaic Man’, there is actually one on top of the list. Or rather, the first one. But I never met him in real life. It is, of course, Leonardo DiCaprio. Here’s the thing though, everyone always talks about Titanic, the Blockbuster movie that made Leonardo a world class actor. About Rose and her Jack on board of the unsinkable ship on its first voyage across the Atlantic. Jack died that night in freezing cold water. But, Leonardo went on to be this super star Hollywood actor. And I just continued to live my life the way I did.
Before Titanic though, there was this less famous movie called ‘Romeo + Juliet’, the modern day version of that well known Shakespeare play. Leonardo starred in that movie too and off course I fell immediately in love with him, together with probably a couple of million other girls all over the world. I must have been fifteen. Never even had a boyfriend, don’t even think I had my first kiss yet. I was a little late with everything when it comes to love. But love comes in all shapes and forms I have learned since puberty. And even though it was a celeberty crush, you will never forget your first ‘love’.
The Surf of Life
So, the final chapter of ‘The Surf of Life’ was always supposed to be ‘Finding Leonardo’. But since I am not married, and I never even met ‘the real Leonardo’, this is where I am today; I am ‘involved’ with someone and as usual it is ‘complicated’. And every time I hear Celine Dion sing ‘My heart will go on’ somewhere on the radio, it makes me smile and think of what my friend said over a decade ago: “it is time to find your own Leonardo”. (Plus it makes me think of Mr. DiCaprio of course).
But anyways, what I do want to share with you as a reader of this piece, if you have gotten this far, I will stop ‘looking’ for my Leonardo from this day on. I will stop ‘chasing’ men. A coach once told me: “Let people come to you”. And that is exactly what I will do. The first guy that ever actually broke my heart, by breaking up with me said: “You are too sweet, and you are trying too hard”. And he was probably right. There is no point in making someone like you. Chasing ‘your Leonardo’ is fun, but that is not how you ‘find’ him. See, that’s the thing: ‘He finds you’.
And maybe there is a girl, or woman out there today, or some day in the future, who reads this article and is like: “Wow, is that how it works?” And who knows, maybe it might help her to ‘find her Leonardo’, but at least she will know that he will have to ‘think’ he ‘found’ her first. Because, I have learned that is how one surfs the waves of life: when we go with the flow, we are surfing life’s waves.
Please don’t forget to ‘like’, if you may, or leave a comment. Super curious about my reader’s experience’s too!
Everyone seems to be talking about ‘The Surf of Life’ these days, it has become a real buzz word. True story, modern day writers come up with quotes comparing life to surfing, ex-athletes mention that ‘the bigger the wave the better’. Did you know that there even is some Korean band that wrote a song called ‘The Surf of Life’ a few years back? (Just checked, they changed the name of the song in the mean time, but still).
Now, type in Google: the surf of life. And what do you see? Yes, this blog…
It all started in 2014 with an idea, the idea became a website, the website became a blog and now I write for Brainz Magazine (a Global media platform) and even receive offers from India to write for magazines over there. My recovery story is being noticed globally. And it truly has been a long road to recovery. But those of you whom have been following me for years, or know me personally, know that.
Recovery is never finished. It comes with ups and downs. And when I speak of recovery I don’t just mean recovering from a mental illness, like I did, but getting over the bad times in life. You’re simply not gonna win all the time, you’re gonna lose some, a coach in the US once said (I forget who it was, but he was right). Maybe you never lost big time like me, or you never will. But if you do, I wish you the best (peer) support in the world. Because you simply can’t do it alone. And that’s why I keep advocating for the Recovery Movement.
For the latest developments on The Surf of Life: @thesurfoflife.blog on Instagram.
I currently have a fundraiser running by GoFundMe too, so I can keep spreading the word and support people during their recovery process all around the globe. All help is much appreciated.
My next challenge? Turning all these ideas into a company. How? I have no idea yet. I live on government benefits, so I fully depend on charity to invest in digital tools. But who knows where this idea of mine will be in another 12 years…
Braiz Magazine is a Global Media Platform that aims to provide for appealing content that will inspire, empower and educate people across the world. This week my first article went live!
🌊 What’s an Experience Expert? As an Experience Expert I aim to support people during their recovery process form a life altering experiences. 🌊 Like what? Think of the diagnosis with a mental disorder, losing a job, or going through a break up from a long term relationship. 🌊 What is the goal of the session(s)? I aim to give people faith in their abilities to overcome. 🌊Why have a consult with me? I am a Certified Experience Expert in Recovery (2023), with over a decade of ‘lived experience’ in Mental Health Care. Before that I lived a Corporate Lifestyle. So, I speak the language of both worlds and life in general. I share my recovery stories, offer a listening ear, and give mental support where possile.
Remember, “life is not linear, but like a set of waves, sometimes you’re up, sometimes you’re down”.
