I’m a nomad: ‘a person who does not stay long in the same place, a wanderer’. But lately I ask myself, where will I finally take root?
When I think about the next few years, as in: wandering around some more, being unemployed and single, I want to jump off a cliff and we don’t even have cliffs in the Netherlands. Game over. At least, that’s what it feels like. The only thought that makes it bearable is that there are larger forces at stake. I, my little self, can’t change my situation. It’s up to the Universe.
S U R R E N D E R
Lessons learned: trying to find Leonardo by finding a house and a job is like ‘trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum’* [Wear Sunscreen]. Stop looking for Leonardo, actually, stop looking for anything at all. I have been looking for all the wrong things in all the wrong places over the past decade anyways.
And I keep running into walls. No flicks on the head or bricks in the face, just one wall after another. There must be something I don’t see. The job is not the point, the house is not the point. So what is the point then?
‘The rest of my life’ is just really far away in the future it seems. I keep wondering if I’m doing something wrong. I said goodbye to an eight year relationship at 29. I quit my career in International Business after ten years at age 35. And I moved in with my parents at 40, an age where one usually is supposed to have their ducks in a row.
It’s not the end goal that counts, but the journey, they say. The Quest, I call it. Maybe the point of living is not having it all and then starting your life. But trying to get there is the Life. Life is the road to making your dreams come true.
The Surf of Life 